The Best Gift

Whats the best gift that you have received so far?To me,my best gift of all are my children.The joy that they gave me is unmeasurable,the laughter that cheers up my day.They are my strenght to go on each day.They can be a nuisance now and then but its forgiveable.Looking thru their eyes is the most wonderful thing an adult could do.Sometimes we tend to forget simple little things that makes us happy.

When I had my divorce, my 2 boys keep me sane.For them,I "redha" and accept the fate but determined to make things better for us.They have restored my faith,my children actually brings back "me" That shows how much I've changed when I married ,my ex.I changed and lost myself.I lost my identity.

I love to see their face and smile when they greeted me at the door when I'm home from work.Iddin would be smiling,Luqman would be jumping up and down asking me is there anything he could carry into the house.Ariff and Haziq would be bantering around with each other while having dinner.Or if I came back early they would be playing outside with friends,Luqman would be dragging the maid to his friends house...(it gave the maid to chit chat with friends as well).I'm not that fussy as long as she take good care of the children.


Ariff actually picks up my habit of reading,Haziq slowly doing it and I'm so happy that he's not afraid to read anymore.He was unsure whenever he's not able to decipher the spelling but I told him thats ok,I will correct u.I wont sneer or punish him.I told Ariff not to bully him or show off so that Haziq dont feel intimidated.


AAhhh..Luqman is so attached with me.He wants me to bathe him,he will follow me around the house,waited beside me while I'm doing my work,hug me when I cry.He is so hugable.Iddin likes to hug as well..he will run and throw himself towards me.he is one cheeky chap here I say...he will grin and you know he's up to something and he can sure give a good kick.Sometimes I can see that he actually bullies Luqman.

All my boys loves babies.And I'm proud of them

Death

A friend from high school passed away today.We were the pioneers of MARA Junior Science College/MRSM Terendak, Melaka.She had breast cancer,advanced stage.A few of us visited her in March when she was admitted for relapsed and she was doing ok on the chemo and had returned to work.It was a shock to all of us.I received the news during lunch time. Shireen called and confirmed the venue and time before they do the prayers and send the body back to her hometown.I rushed to HUKM,hospital to give my last respect.There's a few girls and guys from our batch and her office mates and her hubby's friend. Her children is still small to really understand but I was told the eldest son had refused to let the Dr. cover the mommy's body,he said he don't want his Ummi to follow his Aki(his grandfather who had passed away)

Humaira and me were dorm mates during our 4th&5th year. She was a vey nice,humble soft spoken Terengganu girl.I'm the loud one.I remember the time that a few of us organise a barbecue.We had fun.She was well like.One thing for that I remember most,she sure cannot get rid of her Terengganu slang/dialect.

I've been thinking lately that life is too short to spend it on misery sadness,stress..in short things that make your life span shorter besides the normal wear and tear...when I was in Form 5,I remember my motto that I wrote in the Senior Year Book.I'm working full time and further my studies on part-time basis,when I worked late or attending class during weekends,I spend less time with my children and even time no time for myself.I enjoyed going to class thou because I got to meet new friends,built a network besides monkeying around once in awhile...its like back to school and the best part is when your're one of the good students.

I had divorce when I was 30..that was 8 years back.It was painful,sad but it changed my life.I finally woke up from my slumber.I've been wasting time courting and follow all my ex wimps and fancies that I lost myself.What I regret most is I allow that to happened.It makes me wonder,do I want to spend the rest of my life like this?where are my dreams?what about my desire?what about my future?my children's future?If I die what will happened to their future if the father dont care?will they have good education?enough food to eat?

That really scares me...I have since re-married.life changed a bit.I'm doing things for my kids besides working towards achieving my dreams.With new life,I managed to built some savings for my kids.Education wise,they went to public school and I send to religious school as well.I ry to teach them good values.The most important is be humble and respect the others.

How do I want to be remembered when I died?as someone with a good heart,someone who cares for others.How I want to be remembered as a mother?A mother who loved them very much and besides the odds will do anything to raise them as a good muslim.

Luqman

I had the scare of my life when Luqman went missing after we had our late lunch at Johhnny's in One Utama Shopping Centre.It was on Wesak day,can u imagine the crowd on a public holiday.I could feel my blood drained from my face.I tried to calm myself but panicked slowly creeping up to me. How could I not have that feeling with all the child kidnapping ,molesting and murder everywhere now in Malaysia and the world in general.I think people are gettin' sick everyday.The minutes felt like an hour to me.

He was playing with Iddin,then I came over and pick up Iddin while he was lingering near my feet.A few chinese girls were joining them as well.When I looked down,he was missing.We looked all over for him in the restaurant and outside the sidewalk but he was no where to be seen.I was shouting calling his name and nearly down to tears when Nurudin called me,Mommie!Luqman's here, telling me that Luqman's just appeared from nowhere and with Papa now.

I walked towards him and kneel down asking him where did he go?He was making me worried.He told me that he felt nauseous so he went to the loo and vomitted in the toilet.Told him,next time,just tell me or "kakak"(the maid) or Papa,so that we could accompany him.Please dont do that again.I was relieved and kiss him so many times.I was wobbly actually but have to keep my composure.

We went out that that day to watch "Speed Racer" movie,Hubby bring them to movies while I accompany my mom in law to buy her underthings and shoes.Luqman followed to the movies but he suddenly felt quesy and vomitted.I still cannot figure out why is he having all this vomitting till now.After I changed his shirt,he decided not to joined his brothers.I took him to the toilet whenever he felt nauseous and wanted to vomit.I guess he must have love the sink coz it was designed for his size.

For a three a year,he speaks well and he behave like an adult and he's very brave.Oh he's such a drama queen as well.What I'm afraid of is all my kids are very friendly and not afraid of strangers.They wrm up very easily.

When he was asleep that night,I keep on kissing him,hugging him close.I was really really scared.
I cannot sleep thinking the few minutes ordeal really make my heart stops beating.....my children are my precious...

The Last Lecture

Waa...finish my final exam for this semester loh..I don't know what my results would be.According to the admin office I passed all my subjects,issue here not about passing but more whether I scored A's for all the subject..huhuhu..I can feel the tension.With 4 kids in tow,working full time..some say Im out of my mind but that's me,I love challenges,my mom even say that sometimes I can be really crazy.I love the adrenelin pumping..well..I have to keep my brain moving or else it would be full of cobwebs.

By the way, I managed to slot in to read "The Last Lecture" by Prof. Randy Pausch.Cool book.Its something like Tuesday With Morries by Mitch Albom,the difference is this is written by the person himself&he's still alive.The book is about fulfilling your childhood dream.

The author discovered that he has pancreatic cancer and its creeping to 11 spots in his pancreas.He did not dwell on self pity but more on how to live the fullest before he died&he wants to make sure that he want to live behind something memorable for his children to remember when he's gone.Its sad but motivating.It about living your childhood dream...I can even logged in to view his lecture

What I remember most about the book is that, 1. Life is like a deck of cards,its not how its dealt but how the hand plays it(something like that..)2. A brick of wall is not there to stop you, but for you to wish hard enough and for you to find ways around the wall...The book is simple,catchy,motivating you to never give up and with a pinch of humour.We are to look at things positively no matter how hard it could be..He managed to fulfilled his childhood dream.I was impressed.It was not immedietly but still..he work hard to achieved.he's not afraid to be himself..

What was my childhood dream?I dont seem to remember any..Maybe next time..I will jot in somewhere and see whether I have indeed fulfilled my childhood dream....

Family Time

After a hectic schedule of exams,assignments,presentations (work and study)..finally...its over(for the time being..) now its family time!!!..managed to catch up with my shopping..since I gained so much weight over the month,time to buy new blouses..hubby says I just give excuses to buy new stuff..hahaha..I could have just lose a bit of weight to fit in into my old clothes...told him,whether I'm thin or I put on weight,I would still buy new clothes....I bought 4 blouses this month..hehehehe..very wicked.

We went out with the kids to Great Eastern Mall,let them play at the Kidz Sport,and we went to to MPH bookshop to check out some books..The kids enjoyed themselves especially Iddin my youngest son.The last time I let loose my boys at Kidz Sport was when Iddin was crawling..Iddin had the time of his life running ,climbing & jumping around. The floor was padded,so I dont really have to worry that he fell and knock his head somewhere.we had lunch at Cozy.Again Luqman vomitted while having lunch..not sure why though..everytime we go and eat outside he would vomit..maybe the cold ice in his drink.

The next day,we had dinner at Victoria Station with Tok Mama and their 2 elder step brother Nuruddin& Nazaruddin.They had a whale of of time.Iddin was sleepy,he had this slight fever but that didn't stop him from joining in after having his soups&bread.He was dancing with Luqman.My mom in law was a bit tensed.Hubby told me that she cant stand the chaos .Hubby and me a bit laid back.We let the kids do whatever they want and just ensure that they behave resonably.Luqman was bullying Nudin, he knows his brother have soft spot for him,he asked to be carried around.

Can u imagine having 6 boys at a dinner table?They were talking non stop with each other,tasting each other's food..I felt good actually..Hubby was enjoying himself so much..I will definately arrange another family outing soon..

Emi in hospital with dengue fever

Been awhile since I could knock my keyboard to update the blog..mmm..what have I been up to ya for the past few weeks?
Oh ya..mom is gettin' better,she took the Doc's advice but she still cannot tahan herself from having sweet dessert after food.Its already a part of her,what she can only do is rather than having it everyday,she try to have sweet dessert every other day..She told me that she has such a sweet tooth that she can't bear of not having sweet stuff after food.Hubby is soo like my mom..he has sweet tooth as well.We joked around that he's the true blue my mom son-law...I'm on the other hand prefers fruits than sweet stuff after food.I'm like my dad.Mom loves all these pengat,sugary kueh,jala emas,jemput mas(both totally made from sugar&egg).I really dont know how she can withstand all that sweetness...

Anyway, after Kuantan, back to KL and start doing doing my final assignment for Business Law..I'm nervous not because I don't know but more on the expectation.

I was informed that my younger brother Emi(sibling no.6) was suspected with dengue fever,then later he was admitted to Hospital Klang,sent by his University's medical team.Abah asked me to go and take a look of how's he's doing.Since my hubby is going back to visit tok mama(his mom/my mom in law) at the other side of the town,I've requested for his assistance to visit my brother.He hang out for a while over there,got Emi some toiletries,towel and isotonic drink.The isotonic drink is supposed to give some energy and increase the platelet count.When he was there,he noticed there's 2 girls actually waiting to give my brother a visit.My hubby's guess was that one of them must be my brother's girlfriend...they were shy.Hubby actually called me&laughed and teased Emi.My parents drove down to KL from Kuantan later in the evening.Mom brought extra clothes for Emi .I visited him the next day&brought his fully charged handphone...hehehe..I teased him,for sure he cant sleep well coz the girlfriend would not be able to call or sms if he dont have his phone with him..he was later discharged at the end of the week..ahh well..my bother is all grown up now...

I have soft spot for him coz his the youngest brother&his been helping out with my boys at home especially after my maid ran away last year or doing those odd jobs tinkering whenever I cant do it or hubby not around.In returned,I always let him sleep late or watch TV,cartoon and dvd whenever he feels like it.Mom actually make noise coz he watched TV a lot but to be frank I would rather have him"lepak "at home watching TV than wasting his time outside with shady characters.