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Wednesday, 28 May 2008

Death

A friend from high school passed away today.We were the pioneers of MARA Junior Science College/MRSM Terendak, Melaka.She had breast cancer,advanced stage.A few of us visited her in March when she was admitted for relapsed and she was doing ok on the chemo and had returned to work.It was a shock to all of us.I received the news during lunch time. Shireen called and confirmed the venue and time before they do the prayers and send the body back to her hometown.I rushed to HUKM,hospital to give my last respect.There's a few girls and guys from our batch and her office mates and her hubby's friend. Her children is still small to really understand but I was told the eldest son had refused to let the Dr. cover the mommy's body,he said he don't want his Ummi to follow his Aki(his grandfather who had passed away)


Humaira and me were dorm mates during our 4th&5th year. She was a vey nice,humble soft spoken Terengganu girl.I'm the loud one.I remember the time that a few of us organise a barbecue.We had fun.She was well like.One thing for that I remember most,she sure cannot get rid of her Terengganu slang/dialect.

I've been thinking lately that life is too short to spend it on misery sadness,stress..in short things that make your life span shorter besides the normal wear and tear...when I was in Form 5,I remember my motto that I wrote in the Senior Year Book.I'm working full time and further my studies on part-time basis,when I worked late or attending class during weekends,I spend less time with my children and even time no time for myself.I enjoyed going to class thou because I got to meet new friends,built a network besides monkeying around once in awhile...its like back to school and the best part is when your're one of the good students.

I had divorce when I was 30..that was 8 years back.It was painful,sad but it changed my life.I finally woke up from my slumber.I've been wasting time courting and follow all my ex wimps and fancies that I lost myself.What I regret most is I allow that to happened.It makes me wonder,do I want to spend the rest of my life like this?where are my dreams?what about my desire?what about my future?my children's future?If I die what will happened to their future if the father dont care?will they have good education?enough food to eat?

That really scares me...I have since re-married.life changed a bit.I'm doing things for my kids besides working towards achieving my dreams.With new life,I managed to built some savings for my kids.Education wise,they went to public school and I send to religious school as well.I ry to teach them good values.The most important is be humble and respect the others.

How do I want to be remembered when I died?as someone with a good heart,someone who cares for others.How I want to be remembered as a mother?A mother who loved them very much and besides the odds will do anything to raise them as a good muslim.

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