The Best Gift

Whats the best gift that you have received so far?To me,my best gift of all are my children.The joy that they gave me is unmeasurable,the laughter that cheers up my day.They are my strenght to go on each day.They can be a nuisance now and then but its forgiveable.Looking thru their eyes is the most wonderful thing an adult could do.Sometimes we tend to forget simple little things that makes us happy.

When I had my divorce, my 2 boys keep me sane.For them,I "redha" and accept the fate but determined to make things better for us.They have restored my faith,my children actually brings back "me" That shows how much I've changed when I married ,my ex.I changed and lost myself.I lost my identity.

I love to see their face and smile when they greeted me at the door when I'm home from work.Iddin would be smiling,Luqman would be jumping up and down asking me is there anything he could carry into the house.Ariff and Haziq would be bantering around with each other while having dinner.Or if I came back early they would be playing outside with friends,Luqman would be dragging the maid to his friends house...(it gave the maid to chit chat with friends as well).I'm not that fussy as long as she take good care of the children.


Ariff actually picks up my habit of reading,Haziq slowly doing it and I'm so happy that he's not afraid to read anymore.He was unsure whenever he's not able to decipher the spelling but I told him thats ok,I will correct u.I wont sneer or punish him.I told Ariff not to bully him or show off so that Haziq dont feel intimidated.


AAhhh..Luqman is so attached with me.He wants me to bathe him,he will follow me around the house,waited beside me while I'm doing my work,hug me when I cry.He is so hugable.Iddin likes to hug as well..he will run and throw himself towards me.he is one cheeky chap here I say...he will grin and you know he's up to something and he can sure give a good kick.Sometimes I can see that he actually bullies Luqman.

All my boys loves babies.And I'm proud of them

Death

A friend from high school passed away today.We were the pioneers of MARA Junior Science College/MRSM Terendak, Melaka.She had breast cancer,advanced stage.A few of us visited her in March when she was admitted for relapsed and she was doing ok on the chemo and had returned to work.It was a shock to all of us.I received the news during lunch time. Shireen called and confirmed the venue and time before they do the prayers and send the body back to her hometown.I rushed to HUKM,hospital to give my last respect.There's a few girls and guys from our batch and her office mates and her hubby's friend. Her children is still small to really understand but I was told the eldest son had refused to let the Dr. cover the mommy's body,he said he don't want his Ummi to follow his Aki(his grandfather who had passed away)

Humaira and me were dorm mates during our 4th&5th year. She was a vey nice,humble soft spoken Terengganu girl.I'm the loud one.I remember the time that a few of us organise a barbecue.We had fun.She was well like.One thing for that I remember most,she sure cannot get rid of her Terengganu slang/dialect.

I've been thinking lately that life is too short to spend it on misery sadness,stress..in short things that make your life span shorter besides the normal wear and tear...when I was in Form 5,I remember my motto that I wrote in the Senior Year Book.I'm working full time and further my studies on part-time basis,when I worked late or attending class during weekends,I spend less time with my children and even time no time for myself.I enjoyed going to class thou because I got to meet new friends,built a network besides monkeying around once in awhile...its like back to school and the best part is when your're one of the good students.

I had divorce when I was 30..that was 8 years back.It was painful,sad but it changed my life.I finally woke up from my slumber.I've been wasting time courting and follow all my ex wimps and fancies that I lost myself.What I regret most is I allow that to happened.It makes me wonder,do I want to spend the rest of my life like this?where are my dreams?what about my desire?what about my future?my children's future?If I die what will happened to their future if the father dont care?will they have good education?enough food to eat?

That really scares me...I have since re-married.life changed a bit.I'm doing things for my kids besides working towards achieving my dreams.With new life,I managed to built some savings for my kids.Education wise,they went to public school and I send to religious school as well.I ry to teach them good values.The most important is be humble and respect the others.

How do I want to be remembered when I died?as someone with a good heart,someone who cares for others.How I want to be remembered as a mother?A mother who loved them very much and besides the odds will do anything to raise them as a good muslim.

Luqman

I had the scare of my life when Luqman went missing after we had our late lunch at Johhnny's in One Utama Shopping Centre.It was on Wesak day,can u imagine the crowd on a public holiday.I could feel my blood drained from my face.I tried to calm myself but panicked slowly creeping up to me. How could I not have that feeling with all the child kidnapping ,molesting and murder everywhere now in Malaysia and the world in general.I think people are gettin' sick everyday.The minutes felt like an hour to me.

He was playing with Iddin,then I came over and pick up Iddin while he was lingering near my feet.A few chinese girls were joining them as well.When I looked down,he was missing.We looked all over for him in the restaurant and outside the sidewalk but he was no where to be seen.I was shouting calling his name and nearly down to tears when Nurudin called me,Mommie!Luqman's here, telling me that Luqman's just appeared from nowhere and with Papa now.

I walked towards him and kneel down asking him where did he go?He was making me worried.He told me that he felt nauseous so he went to the loo and vomitted in the toilet.Told him,next time,just tell me or "kakak"(the maid) or Papa,so that we could accompany him.Please dont do that again.I was relieved and kiss him so many times.I was wobbly actually but have to keep my composure.

We went out that that day to watch "Speed Racer" movie,Hubby bring them to movies while I accompany my mom in law to buy her underthings and shoes.Luqman followed to the movies but he suddenly felt quesy and vomitted.I still cannot figure out why is he having all this vomitting till now.After I changed his shirt,he decided not to joined his brothers.I took him to the toilet whenever he felt nauseous and wanted to vomit.I guess he must have love the sink coz it was designed for his size.

For a three a year,he speaks well and he behave like an adult and he's very brave.Oh he's such a drama queen as well.What I'm afraid of is all my kids are very friendly and not afraid of strangers.They wrm up very easily.

When he was asleep that night,I keep on kissing him,hugging him close.I was really really scared.
I cannot sleep thinking the few minutes ordeal really make my heart stops beating.....my children are my precious...

The Last Lecture

Waa...finish my final exam for this semester loh..I don't know what my results would be.According to the admin office I passed all my subjects,issue here not about passing but more whether I scored A's for all the subject..huhuhu..I can feel the tension.With 4 kids in tow,working full time..some say Im out of my mind but that's me,I love challenges,my mom even say that sometimes I can be really crazy.I love the adrenelin pumping..well..I have to keep my brain moving or else it would be full of cobwebs.

By the way, I managed to slot in to read "The Last Lecture" by Prof. Randy Pausch.Cool book.Its something like Tuesday With Morries by Mitch Albom,the difference is this is written by the person himself&he's still alive.The book is about fulfilling your childhood dream.

The author discovered that he has pancreatic cancer and its creeping to 11 spots in his pancreas.He did not dwell on self pity but more on how to live the fullest before he died&he wants to make sure that he want to live behind something memorable for his children to remember when he's gone.Its sad but motivating.It about living your childhood dream...I can even logged in to view his lecture

What I remember most about the book is that, 1. Life is like a deck of cards,its not how its dealt but how the hand plays it(something like that..)2. A brick of wall is not there to stop you, but for you to wish hard enough and for you to find ways around the wall...The book is simple,catchy,motivating you to never give up and with a pinch of humour.We are to look at things positively no matter how hard it could be..He managed to fulfilled his childhood dream.I was impressed.It was not immedietly but still..he work hard to achieved.he's not afraid to be himself..

What was my childhood dream?I dont seem to remember any..Maybe next time..I will jot in somewhere and see whether I have indeed fulfilled my childhood dream....

Family Time

After a hectic schedule of exams,assignments,presentations (work and study)..finally...its over(for the time being..) now its family time!!!..managed to catch up with my shopping..since I gained so much weight over the month,time to buy new blouses..hubby says I just give excuses to buy new stuff..hahaha..I could have just lose a bit of weight to fit in into my old clothes...told him,whether I'm thin or I put on weight,I would still buy new clothes....I bought 4 blouses this month..hehehehe..very wicked.

We went out with the kids to Great Eastern Mall,let them play at the Kidz Sport,and we went to to MPH bookshop to check out some books..The kids enjoyed themselves especially Iddin my youngest son.The last time I let loose my boys at Kidz Sport was when Iddin was crawling..Iddin had the time of his life running ,climbing & jumping around. The floor was padded,so I dont really have to worry that he fell and knock his head somewhere.we had lunch at Cozy.Again Luqman vomitted while having lunch..not sure why though..everytime we go and eat outside he would vomit..maybe the cold ice in his drink.

The next day,we had dinner at Victoria Station with Tok Mama and their 2 elder step brother Nuruddin& Nazaruddin.They had a whale of of time.Iddin was sleepy,he had this slight fever but that didn't stop him from joining in after having his soups&bread.He was dancing with Luqman.My mom in law was a bit tensed.Hubby told me that she cant stand the chaos .Hubby and me a bit laid back.We let the kids do whatever they want and just ensure that they behave resonably.Luqman was bullying Nudin, he knows his brother have soft spot for him,he asked to be carried around.

Can u imagine having 6 boys at a dinner table?They were talking non stop with each other,tasting each other's food..I felt good actually..Hubby was enjoying himself so much..I will definately arrange another family outing soon..

Emi in hospital with dengue fever

Been awhile since I could knock my keyboard to update the blog..mmm..what have I been up to ya for the past few weeks?
Oh ya..mom is gettin' better,she took the Doc's advice but she still cannot tahan herself from having sweet dessert after food.Its already a part of her,what she can only do is rather than having it everyday,she try to have sweet dessert every other day..She told me that she has such a sweet tooth that she can't bear of not having sweet stuff after food.Hubby is soo like my mom..he has sweet tooth as well.We joked around that he's the true blue my mom son-law...I'm on the other hand prefers fruits than sweet stuff after food.I'm like my dad.Mom loves all these pengat,sugary kueh,jala emas,jemput mas(both totally made from sugar&egg).I really dont know how she can withstand all that sweetness...

Anyway, after Kuantan, back to KL and start doing doing my final assignment for Business Law..I'm nervous not because I don't know but more on the expectation.

I was informed that my younger brother Emi(sibling no.6) was suspected with dengue fever,then later he was admitted to Hospital Klang,sent by his University's medical team.Abah asked me to go and take a look of how's he's doing.Since my hubby is going back to visit tok mama(his mom/my mom in law) at the other side of the town,I've requested for his assistance to visit my brother.He hang out for a while over there,got Emi some toiletries,towel and isotonic drink.The isotonic drink is supposed to give some energy and increase the platelet count.When he was there,he noticed there's 2 girls actually waiting to give my brother a visit.My hubby's guess was that one of them must be my brother's girlfriend...they were shy.Hubby actually called me&laughed and teased Emi.My parents drove down to KL from Kuantan later in the evening.Mom brought extra clothes for Emi .I visited him the next day&brought his fully charged handphone...hehehe..I teased him,for sure he cant sleep well coz the girlfriend would not be able to call or sms if he dont have his phone with him..he was later discharged at the end of the week..ahh well..my bother is all grown up now...

I have soft spot for him coz his the youngest brother&his been helping out with my boys at home especially after my maid ran away last year or doing those odd jobs tinkering whenever I cant do it or hubby not around.In returned,I always let him sleep late or watch TV,cartoon and dvd whenever he feels like it.Mom actually make noise coz he watched TV a lot but to be frank I would rather have him"lepak "at home watching TV than wasting his time outside with shady characters.

2nd chance

Do you believe in 2nd chance?I do..I think God is great,He will listen and give us 2nd second chance if we asked for it or sometimes he even give us 2nd chance although we didn't ask for it coz he knows better.

Life is not a bed of roses but there are some people who are born lucky.But then again,life without challenges are boring..I believe the challenges,the downturn,the unfortunate event that happened to us are ways to make us stronger,smarter and a better person.Life is short..so we have to make the best out of the situation.

I had a bitter divorce.My ex hubby cheated on me while I was in confinement after haziq's birth and the thing is this is not the first time.He did it with my housemate b4 we got married(I didn't know this til we're married) and during my 1st child confinement.Caught him red handed when there's an increase tel bil and I noticed there's so many calls on the handfone to my former rented house...(that' odd)

Anyway,for the kids sake, I act civil towards him.Whatever it is he's still the father.Anyway, God give me a 2nd chance, where my current husaband now decided to take care of me.Since I wasted 6 years before I got married to my ex,so I told my hubby now that if u really like me,wanted to take care of me,go and see my parents and ask for my hand.I don't want to waste time having a relationship.I wasn't in love or whatsoever with him.I don't really know him but I took my chances..the kids need a father figure.

Then there's my sis, she had a quarrel with my Dad and She disappear for about 3 years.My dad was shaken really bad, my mom,she cried everyday.We were looking for her everywhere,its like she vanished without trail& non of her friend knew her whereabouts.

When my hubby proposed, I told him that I don't think I can marry him coz then I would not have the flexibility& the freedom to look for my sis and I hv made a vow that during my 2nd wedding all my siblings would be there.

It was sad for me, but God is great,one evening, I decided to give my childhood friend a buzz & told her what happened.She asked me why didn't I tell her earlier.Told her I don't know what to do I was having my own sets of proble raising 2 small child.Anyway, about a couple of days after that, my friend Anor called and gave me an address.She said check this address,this was my sister's last info&she managed to locate that she's still in Kuala Lumpur.It jive with my dream of where she would be...

I managed to tracked her down. My sister was reluctant to open the door.After coaxing and pleading she finally opened the door.Finally, i managed to persuade her to come home.First is to attend my engagement.I was so happy to have all my siblings on my wedding day..

I had advised my other siblings to give her a 2nd chance. My mom was so happy to see my sister,my dad is still angry and frustrated over her but to me..let bygone be bygone.I'm sure she have learnt her lesson..

God have given me a 2nd chance in life,why can't I give the same to her.I'm sure she need moral support to adapt with the family again.

Everybody deserve a 2nd chance......

Down Memory lane.

Here I am,still punching my keyboard.I'm suppose to finish up my assignment but end up writing in my blog.Have u ever reminiscence the good ol' days,when you still small,nothing to worry about but your next meal,time to take your bath,sweets&chocolate and playtime?When I look at all my son,I want them to enjoy their childhood as much as I did mine.

Parents nowdays are so competitive,there's religious class for the kids to attend,tuition at night after school or KUMON,there's swimming class or music class on weekend,even slot in martial art class.Being a mother,quite frequently I would get this type of question,how many A's did you boys get?what are the marks?My daughter scored all 100% for her subjects...my standard answer would be.."oohh! my son?boys would be boys...they're lazy just like me..hahaha.."

Have it ever crossed the parents mind to let the children be a child?There should be a balance between studying,co-curriculum and time for them to play.Its not that I don't care about my kids but I want them to enjoy life.Think about it,there's tv,video games,dvd,computers and internet and if we do not encourage them to go out and play outside in the sun,the children would be stuck infront of the TV or video game or computer all day long.

I remember the days where I would follow my younger brothers to play football in the field,get soaked in the rain&running in the mud or climbing the guava or ciku trees.We would go fishing with poles made from rembia branch or bamboo sticks,tied the "tangsi" rope and fasten the fishing hook at the end of the rope.We would dug the soil for worms as bait.Back then the stream besides my mom's house is not as dried up like today,it was full of fish and flows lazily.The villagers could actually wash their clothes in the stream,the water is clean and cool but my parents never allows us to take a dip in that stream..

We already have pipe water back then but now and then we would join our neighbours to draw water from the well and take a bath at the well.The water would be so refreshing and cool for this hot tropical climate.To keep the well water clean and clear,the villagers would put "tawas" in the well.Its a type of rock I presumed...Behind my parents house,my grandparents had planted some fruit trees,there's rambutan trees,mango trees,ciku and rambai..During the fruit season,there would be mangoes hanging from the trees and the neighboring kids would come by and steal the mangoes..my brothers and me would complained to Mak but she would just dismissed us and said let them have it,we "sedekah", we wouldn't be able to eat all those fruits ourselves anyway..I love ciku,I would go to the tree every now and then to look for big ones,pluck it,clean it(Awok, my nanny taught me how to clean it) and put it in the rice bin for it to ripe.Till now,I still could finish a whole basket of ciku by myself...

I also remember, when my grandparents is still around,there would be this elderly lady,who would go around our kampung(village),carrying a basket on her head,she sell "laksam"."Cik" my maternal grandma would buy them now and then.It looks like kway teow made of flour,and rolled into a mini swiss roll,then the roll will be cut with scissors into little spirals.The gravy is made from boiled and pounded fish meat,mixed with pounded shallots, blackpepper, ginger and expressed tamarind juice and cooked in coconut milk.There's "ulam"(a mixture of raw vegetables like bean sprouts,cabbage) to accompany the dish.I often wonder,how could the lady actually balance the basket on her head...

Behind our house,there's a small hut.There's an old woman who lives on her own.I love to watch her weaves the strip of mengkuang into a mat.In her front yard,there would be strips of mengkuang which have been dyed with colours and dried up in the sun for it to be weaved into a mat at a later date.

How I wish my sons would be able to have this sort of experience but time change.There's no more elderly lady selling "laksam".If we felt like having it,we actually have to drive out to look for any stall selling "laksam" and the taste..not as delicious like the good ol' days

Back to kampung to see Mak

I actually decided to go back to my hometown and visit my mom.Applied 2 days leave and drive back to my hometown in Kuantan,Pahang on Thursday.Its a 3 hours journey from Kuala Lumpur to Kuantan.Called my mom earlier in the morning,she said she's alright and we don't have to worry.
Knowing any mother,they would not want their children to worry.

On Thursday night,after work,my sister Ajah(sibling no.5),myself,the boys and my maid drove all the way to Kuantan.My kids were very happy to go back to Kuantan to see their grandma, grandpa and most of all their cousins.We reached my mom's place around 11.30 pm.My mom,Mak was so happy to see us.Abah and Mak was resting and about to retire to bed.Mak's face beamed when we arrived.Luqman&Iddin was jumping up and down.Iddin my youngest was running around and climbing all over the place.

Abah keep reminding Mak to drink more water coz she suppose to go for an x-ray the next day to check whether the medicine managed to flushed out the particles from her urinal system.We went back to KL after her appointment and after Friday prayers.Mak said she felt better& appreciate that we came home to visit her.

This picture was taken a few months back.The boys and their cousins are playing kite outside mak's house.Mak's house is a big kampung house,a walking distance to a beach,facing the South China Sea.The house was built partly from wood and brick and sits partly on stilts.It used to be my late grandparents house.My kids loves my mom's place because its big,compare to my living room in KL,mine would only take 1/4 of her total square feet of Mak's living room...There's no fence surrounding the house.The boys just love to run around chasing chickens,ducks and goats..I hope my boys would know how to climb trees like I do when I was their age...its so difficult nowdays to find any guava tree or any fruit tree that's low enough for them to climb its branch...

Mak's house situated in a fishing village.Life is typically very relax compared to KL metropolitan life.Fisherman set out to the sea before dawn. After selling the days catch,they would have their breakfast,dry their nets,some would mend their fishing net or "pukat" as we called it here.The fisherman would also spend their time playing checkers or "dam" on a "pangkin"(a flat wooden platform)by the beach after their hard days work.

Whenever I felt the pressure this is the place I find solace..the sea breeze,the sound of the waves crashing,the birds chirping,the sounds of chicken and hens,the bleating of goats...peace to the soul..

My Mom

I called my mother this morning,wanted to tell her that I received another interview for a job opening,but abah answered her hp instead.Abah told me that mak not well,she complained that she's in pain whenever she wanted to pee and she complained that she's so tired and her back&waist hurts so much.Abah brought Mak to the hospital and they referred her to a surgeon.Apparently,Dr. suspect there's stone.She sounded very weak when I spoke with her.

My hubby was panicky,he asked me to call everyone,told him to calm down&I will update my younger siblings later.Managed to called Abah after lunch,there's particles in her urinal gland(I hope I got this correct..).Doc. gv her medication and for her to rest at home.

(A picture of Mak &Abah and me...)

I'm so worried...lately both my parents are not well.There's only the two of them in the house.Day time there would be my brother's maid,because my nieces went to a chinese school near my parents house.Night time they would be on their own...I actually misses them a lot.They just came to my house last week.Mak went shopping during the Craft Carnival and bought a whole bunch of stuff.She spend about RM1000 plus minus..I can tell you that she managed to fill up the boot of the car and the passenger seats with her stuff.She bought mengkuang mat,tudung saji(traditional food cover),little trinkets box,boxed made from leaves(A sabah product), woven basket..etc (to name a few..). I was so teruja with the stuff that she bought that I actually went to the craft sale & bought some stuff myself.She knew that I love that kind of stuff,traditional stuff...I did went gaga actually...but then I have limited budget so I really have to choose the stuff that I need and really want...

The thing about my mom& me,when I was younger we were not the best of friends.My mom was brought up with strict up bringing,she's the youngest of 6 siblings.She was not allowed to further studies in boarding school let alone to go to university.She was a civil servant in the state prosecutor's office,The PA for the DPP (i guess that's why I'm inclined towards doing law).Her former bosses are the judges in the High Court of Malaya.I remember that I used to sit in her office after kindergarten until lunch time before we heads home.She would give me a paper and a pencil for me to scribble.I remember uncle Maniam,a very nice chap,who would chat with me& share wafer biscuits with me,I remember Mr.Varghese,an elderly man,very strict,no nonsense looking.I kinda of afraid of him,then there's Auntie Lily,my mom's cousin,Achik Kiah,Abang Li...

Believe it or not,they still keep in touch despite all those years.

My mom was a great believer in etiquette,we have to dress properly,sit properly,eat properly..while me on the other hand,reaching my teens,I was rebellious...It took a divorce on my part to actually bring us closer.We had our differences, but no matter what,a mother will always love her child.

Queeen of the house

My gynae actually gave me that title "The Queen"...why?because I have four boys and a husband to pamper me..I'm the Queen of the house she said.My eldest is Ariff.Easy to take care of when he was a baby. Love to read books to him since he's a baby,till now he loves reading.The next pregnancy I thot I would try for a girl.Initially,the Doc was pretty positive that it was a girl.Then baby actually turned one day&Doc captured on the screen a "teapot"..hahaha there goes of having a girl.Somehow deep inside,I had a feeling that its gonna be another boy,during delivery the nurses actually lift him up for me to see that baby's a boy.That's Haziq my second son..he have a beautiful thick black hair when he was born.There's funny story how he was born.Will write on another day.Luqman my third son..a very cheeky one here.He was induced earlier than his due date.I had grown so fat & big that my body couldn't take the pressure.My blood pressure was high for pregnancy and it cound put the baby's life in danger.My last(?) son Iddin,the smallest of the lot but very fast.......

I misses them everyday..when things are down,their smiles makes my day,when I goes home its their laughter cheers me up...everyday they would ask,ada barang tak?they would ask whether there's things to carry,any sweets for them etc.I talk with my kids a lot...Luqman would start telling what CD he's been watching&Iddin would be blabbing as well.The two elder one would be having their dinner,or came down to see before going upstairs again to do their homework or play with their playstation....

Video clip by the Storyteller

This videoclip was by Yasmin Ahmad-the Storyteller(check out her blog).

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ALf7YExXoiI&feature=related

I love all her movies,its close to the heart.Some people said that her movies don't really potray Malaysia,but I think they do.Sepet for instance,we live in multicultural society,so falling in love with another race is not unusual,so does a government officer having a live in maid who actually becomes part of the family.My parents display their affection to each other openly.My bestfriend in primary school was a chinese girl.

maybe to some people they don't experienced all that&I thinks thats why they feel those scenes in Yasmin movies are nonsense.Some people think her movies are "kekampungan".Why is that?is it because we are so called modern that we tend to forget where we're from?

I love her Ads too!especially those she did for Petronas.To some people her ad did not connect Petronas as a product,but looking from the other perspective,whenever you see those heart warming Ads,you knew its from Petronas.

Kampung or not her ads always touch my heart.

To me keep on "berkarya" Yasmin!

Ne Me Quitte Pas

Hubby emailed me this,he sent Mukhsin's music video of this song from u tube and the lyrics. Will write in next time,why he suddenly post...not that suddenly actually...heheheh

Ne me quitte pas /Don't leave me
Il faut oublier /it 's neccesary to forget
Tout peut s'oublier/ everything you need to forget
Qui s'enfuit deja /which is already over
Oublier le temps /forget the times
Des malentendus /of the misunderstandings
Et le temps perdu /the lost time
A savoir comment /to know how
Oublier ces heures /forget the hours
Qui tuaient parfois /which sometimes kill
A coups de pourquoi /the reasons why
Le coeur du bonheur /the heart full of joy

Ne me quitte pas/ Don't leave me
Ne me quitte pas /Don't leave me
Ne me quitte pas /Don't leave me
Ne me quitte pas /Don't leave me


Moi je t'offrirai /I offer you
Des perles de pluie/ pearls of rain
Venues de pays /coming from countries
Ou il ne pleut pas /where it never rains
Je creus'rai la terre/ I will cross the world
Jusqu' apres ma mort/ until after my death
Pour couvrir ton corps /for to cover your body
D'or et de lumiere; /with gold and bright light
Je f'rai un domaine /I will give you a kingdom
Ou l'amour s 'ra roi /where LOVE will be king
Ou l'amour s' ra loi /Where LOVE will be the law
ou tu serais reine /and where you will be queen

Ne me quitte pas /Don't leave me
Ne me quitte pas /Don't leave me
Ne me quitte pas /Don't leave me
Ne me quitte pas /Don't leave me
Ne me quitte pas /Don't leave me
Ne me quitte pas /Don't leave me

Mystery,Mitos or reality?

We are moving towards 21st century..but are we modern enough not to believe in hocus pocus?magic?shamans or bomoh?witchcraft? I don't really believe in all that myself but God is great,life is full of mysteries...when I was a littel girl,stories are told of the myterious world,another world that co-exist with our human world.Its the "bunian" world they said.

My dad had an accident when my mom was pregnant with me.It was a bad one that he broke his leg and doctor had to insert metal in his hand & leg with the propect of he would not be able to walk again without crutches.Everyday,my mom,heavily pregnant with me,k., would visit my Dad in the hospital.She said,back then in 1970's ,trishaw was a popular mode of tranportation to go around town.She told me that when she was huffing& puffing walking to the hospital,a trishaw came to her side an offered his services.Since then,the same old man,would wait at the same spot everyday for my mother to send her to the hospital.During her rides that this old man suggested my mom to bring my Dad to another old man "Bomoh Patah" or broken bones shaman(don't know the correct translation) that would massage his legs and make it better.

After discussing with my dad,both of them took the chances and went and see the old shaman.They were given some medicinal leaves to grind and the method was to grind it with "batu giling" or a mortar.After grinding the leaves,my mom have to put the paste onto my Dad's leg.The old man told my parents,in 3 nights in a row,he will feel a massage sensation but they are forbid to talk,to question or to make any noise during that time.2 nights went on without any hiccups,my dad can feel as if somebody was massaging his legs but on the 3rd night,while he can feel the massage, a cry broke out.Guess what?it was me waking up for my milk...then poof!its gone.A week later my Dad felt better,he could walk with crutches the without.My dad still have a slight limp on his left leg till now,it was the leg where the massage treatment was not complete.

I don't know whether to believe or not.Only Allah knows better coz they are all his creations.And with his will also that we will heal.

My son Haziq,he broke his arm when he was just 3 years old while playing.I noticed he was in pain when he wanted to wash his hands after having his dinner.It was a fasting month.My mom asked me to go get an elderly neighbour to prepared some "air tawar".My instinct was to quickly feel his arms,hands and I could feel a jutting bone.Quickly I brought him to the hospital.well kids being kids,despite having broken bone,he still kept on running happily chasing after his elder brother and his cousins.His left hand was in cast.My in laws that time wanted to bring Haziq to this "bomoh patah" in Pekan but he was unavailable the day.After a week,I brought Haziq along when I visited this old man.When he saw Haziq's hand,he offered to massage his arm but Haziq have to withstand the pain a bit.He had requested Haziq&me to recite the Al-Fatihah, 3 times.He took out a piece of bamboo and massage the bamboo.He didn't touch my sons hand but I saw Haziq cringing in pain and the old man pacified Haziq,just a little more,you're a strong boy..bla bla bla..


It amazed me,how some people would be able to communicate with people from another world to help them.But syukur..Haziq have never been better after that.Who would have guessed he use to have a broken bone in his arm

Is this a mystery?Myth or reality?

10 Minutes to Midnight

After contemplating for few years,whether I should put my thoughts in cyberspace or continue to write in a diary (which always end up half way...).I finally cave in to my curiosity..oh what the heck!maybe the fact that I'm slowly..crawling.. towards the big four zero and spend more time in front of my PC.Its not that I don't have a life,but being a full time corporate lawyer and a mother of four,one must be able to multitask and still have time for family,friends and yourself

10 minutes to midnite,I'm still surfing the net to find info for my assignments.Iddin, my one in half year old son is still awake.I have to fend off his little fingers from poking the keyboard...

Sometimes,I do wish I have more time to do things that I love...aahh..Iddin finally asleep...His three elder brothers are already snoring..must be very tired after 2 games of bowling this afternoon.I love to look at my children when they're asleep,their face look so angelic( I bet all mothers will say that..)